Security

The thing about security is an elusive thing. You think you have it, but you actually don't. And sometimes when you feel like you don't have it, but unforeseen harsh circumstances actually proves otherwise.

I just got my results. LLB external program by the University of London is certainly not a fancy course to be reckoned with. It consumes your every physical, mental and emotional energy. I myself, am drained out like a bag of coconut shreddings off its cream.

I passed. Maybe not as good as others, but I passed. I thought I would fail. My take? I think I did not performed optimally. But I passed nonetheless with 3 credits. But the questions still lingers.
Do I have what it takes?
Am I smart?Am I the man I think I am ?
[Or do I just allow someone to emasculate me?]Do I impress people?
Do people value me?
Why do I require validation from the men around me?
Am I [dare I say...] good looking?
Do I have a good physique?
Can I play music well?
Am I atheletic enough?

I know these things just doesn't define me. I thought results defined me. Not so, until minutes after I received my results, my carnal me was twitching because some acquaintance knew how to do a handstand, and mind you, he's got great looks. So, here I am looking at tutorials on how to do a handstand.

I find myself like a moth flying around a burning candle. That tragic obsession with validation from others. It would destroy me. If i didn't pass this time around, I would have died! at least not literally. BUt i know I might just condemn myself into immediate stupidity. How do I begin?
It a journey again. discovering my worth, in Jesus and nothing else. At the end of the day, I know my security and identity doesn't flow from what I can do, or what I have done. Its who I am in Christ. And I am bringing that truth into my heart. Now.

"In Christ dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, Who is the Head of all principality and power" Colossians 2:9,10

A valiant warrior. A king. Wonderfully and fearfully made. A royal priest. A son of the God, Most High.